


Holding On to Water

by riversmoon416



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Gift Exchange, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversmoon416/pseuds/riversmoon416
Summary: Hajime visits the shrine after a year and everything seems different, especially the strange new guy taking care of it.





	Holding On to Water

**Author's Note:**

> This is for verdigrisvagabond for the haikyuuwriters Secret Santa (I'm littlecrowofsunshine there)! She said she liked Iwaoi and magical realism and fantasy. It's based off a Japanese Mt. Horai legend. I'm so sorry this is late, I didn't expect for it to turn into such a monster of a fic. I hope you like it and that you had a great holiday!

Hajime walked up the stairs, knees burning from the sheer number he’d climbed. Snow lightly fell from the sky and his breath steamed the air in front of him as it slowly wafted up. He cursed himself for not wearing a warmer coat as he felt numbness spread throughout his body.

The annual trek to the shrine was a tradition he and his grandmother had done for years until her death. This was the first visit since her passing a year ago and he wanted to come by himself; his parents understood it was a time shared between only the two of them. He remembered holding her weathered, kind hand in his as they stood in front of the incense and prayed for happiness in the upcoming year. Wishes for no school, the newest Godzilla movie, or sweets quickly became prayers for victory as soon as his hands touched a volleyball.

He was maybe eight years old and he had been searching for bugs in the summer heat. A small grove of trees sat by a wide field of overgrown grass behind his elementary school. One day, his daily trip to the yard in search of beetles was interrupted by the sound of boys shouting. Hajime turned his head, curious, and watched them toss a ball in the air. One of them lightly threw it over his head and then swung his arm, creating an arch that floated the ball to the other boy. Frustration creased his strangely thick eyebrows as he tried to receive. His long arms veered to the side and the ball went long, rolling towards Hajime. The first boy smirked teasingly at his friend before looking around for their lost ball.

His eyes stopped on Hajime, face relaxing into an almost deadpan expression. He stood for a moment before asking simply, “Wanna play?”

Hajime glanced at his glass jars, still empty of bugs, and gathered the ball in his arms. Shrugging, he replied, “Sure.”

The two boys, Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei, became his best friends, his teammates. They practiced volleyball that day until their forearms grew welts from receiving and dirt covered them head to toe. When practice wasn’t enough, they decided to join the community team together. And ten years later, Hajime still came home proudly covered in bruises borne from their hard work.

The game had quickly become his life. He loved the thrill of receiving, the power of spiking past an almost impenetrable wall, the feeling of pushing himself and his teammates to reach higher than they thought possible. His team was his family.

For most of his life, he prayed for success with the same people he’d known since childhood. Now, as a senior, the thought twisted his stomach, filling him with a kind of bitterness he didn’t know how to deal with yet. He didn’t know what he should pray for anymore.

 

* * *

 

Hajime finally approached the shrine and paused, letting the place settle around him. Thick rope draped above his head as it held white curling paper lanterns across the gates. The flat roof collected snow drifting down, lightly covering the worn stone in a blanket of flurries. Branches of dead trees creaked as cold air froze the ground they sat in. When he was younger, Hajime liked to think that they somehow knew they’d be reborn again.

He took a step forward, and the air felt like it shuddered.

The first thing Hajime noticed was how quiet it was. He expected to be the only one here since it was in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, even if it was during winter break, but it was like the city had been muted. No matter where he was, he always heard the clamor of the train. After living right by the tracks for years, he learned to tune it out. Now, however, he was very conscious of its absence.

The second thing that seemed off was the snow. Hajime still felt the cold of winter leak into his bones, his whole body numb at this point, but snow that had been catching on the shrine gates suddenly seemed to melt into nothingness before it even reached the ground. The roof of the actual shrine still appeared as old as he remembered, but the dark wooden paneling didn’t have a dust of powder on it. In fact, neither the building nor the trees standing beside it seemed to be affected by the elements.

Goosebumps rose along Hajime’s skin, and he knew it wasn’t due to the cold. He wracked his brain, searching for any kind of memory that might tell him if this had ever happened before. In all the years of his coming here, he had never felt this kind of wrongness. It was like he had somehow stepped into a pocket of time that was separated from the rest of the world.

Shaking himself out of it, Hajime took a breath and told himself he was being paranoid. An unexpected flash of bright blue clothing in the corner of his eye about gave him a heart attack and he spun around, searching for the source. As soon as he found it, a shocked laugh almost burst from his chest.

A man, around the same age as him if not a little younger, was wearing the most flamboyant outfit Hajime may have ever seen. His grandfather’s traditional clothes were dark, subtle, what Hajime had thought to be proper. When he grew older, he even got a set for himself for the extremely rare special occasions, understated colors just like his grandfather.

This man, though, had bright colors shouting at Hajime to notice him. His flowing, pleated pants were an astounding shade of turquoise with golden thread weaving through the fabric at the bottom, decorative small plants growing from the hem. The white robes covering his arms wouldn’t have been as blinding if they weren’t layered with a vibrant red overcoat. The cloth had frays and looked well-worn, but he didn’t seem to be aware of the cold.

Hajime’s eyes crinkled in suspicion as he watched this man. Everything about him felt weird, if only because he was so at home here. Humming a slightly off-beat tune, he swept the stone path leading to the stand holding wooden plaques for writing wishes. His warm brown eyes danced underneath perfectly coifed chestnut hair, his entire demeanor relaxed.

However, despite the silly appearance of him, there seemed to be some kind of solid strength buzzing underneath the surface.

Hajime shouted, “Oi!”

 The man startled before pasting on what Hajime could only call a ‘customer service’ kind of smile. “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Stalking up to him, Hajime put himself right into the man’s space. “What happened here?”

Cocking his head to the side, the man asked, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Why is there no one around? What’s with the snow?”

“The… snow…” Now the man regarded Hajime with concern, like he was worried for his sanity.

“Yes, the damned snow. Why isn’t it here?”

He lifted his eyes towards the sky and pointed a finger up, like he was trying to guide Hajime to the answer.

Hajime yelled, “I know where the sky is!” Frustration and embarrassment welled up within him, but he was surprised the man didn’t react to his anger except for dropping the finger.

He didn’t know how exactly he was supposed to explain the weirdness he felt. All he was doing was yelling at some stranger and making himself sound like a lunatic. He was a rational person, and he knew he wasn’t making any sense, but he also knew to trust the instincts telling him that something wasn’t right here.

Making an effort to lower his voice, Hajime asked the man, “Who even are you?”

He relaxed his stance and smiled. “I work here.”

“Since when?”

“Off and on. My family takes care of the shrine.”

Hajime narrowed his eyes, suspicious. “I’ve been coming here since I was a kid. Why haven’t I seen you before?”

“I’ve always been homeschooled so I don’t get out very much. I only come here during the holidays.” The man laughed lightly and shrugged, but Hajime heard a bit of wistfulness hidden underneath.

“Still doesn’t explain why this is the first time I’ve seen you here.”

“Eh, maybe you aren’t that observant.”

“… Excuse me?”

“I just think you’d have to be a little obtuse not to notice _me.”_

“Oh, I noticed you when I came in. I was pretty much blinded by your tacky clothes.”

The man gasped, looking so offended it was almost comical. “My robes suit me perfectly, thank you very much. I can’t help it when,” he paused to inspect Hajime up and down with a critical eye before continuing, “people with no sense of style or fashion don’t know how to appreciate it.”

Hajime considered himself a generally laidback person, excluding his fire and passion on the volleyball court. There were very few times that he remembered not getting along with someone, which was why he was surprised by how badly he wanted to punch this guy so soon after meeting him.

Vein bulging from his temple, he barked, “Insult me again and you’ll get a slap to the head.”

Chuckling, the man was unaffected by the threat. He replied, “Wow, how brutish.”

“You want to keep pushing it? Because I- “

“Okay, okay.” Smiling, he raised his hands in surrender until Hajime seemed to calm down. “I was teasing. Short fuse, huh?”

Unclenching his shoulders, Hajime took a step back. “Usually no. You must have a way with people.”

“That’s what they tell me.” The man was delighted, even proud. “Hey, what’s your name?”

Hajime’s face slackened, the question coming out of seemingly nowhere. Warily, he asked, “Why do you want to know?”

“Because otherwise I’ll call you ‘porcupine.’”

Annoyed, Hajime replied, “What the hell? Why?”

“Have you seen your hair?”

“You really want me to punch you, don’t you?”

“Of course not! So, if you tell me your name it would be better for everyone.” The man waited, amusement tugging his lips into a smirk.

Rolling his eyes, Hajime had to refrain from punching him. “It’s Iwaizumi Hajime.”

The man smiled, the first genuine one that Hajime had seen from him since the start of this conversation. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”

Hajime scoffed and nodded his head expectantly. Sticking out his hand, the man replied, “Oikawa Tooru. Nice to meet you, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime scowled, brow furrowing in annoyance. “Where the hell did that come from?”

Oikawa laughed and patted Hajime’s shoulder. “Don’t look so tense, I’m sure you’d be handsome if you smiled a bit more.”

Swatting the hand away, Hajime snapped, “Keep it up and I really will hit you.”

“Wow, you’ve threatened me three times already. Is this how you treat all your friends?”

“I’ve barely known you for more than five minutes and I already want to strangle you.”

“Then does that mean I’m special?” Oikawa smirked, pleased with himself.

Hajime was at a loss for words, mouth sputtering with unfinished insults, and he turned to leave.

Oikawa sang, “See you tomorrow, Iwa-chan,” and Hajime stopped to glare at him.

“Who says I’ll come back here, asshole?”

Oikawa just smiled and replied, “You will.”

 

* * *

 

The warmth of his home and the smell of dinner cooking helped calm Hajime somewhat after his encounter with Oikawa, but he still felt like he was ready to blow at a moment’s notice.

He had never met anyone who had frustrated him so much so fast. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were more his brothers than best friends, bond formed through the blood and sweat and tears shed all throughout their childhood, but he would be lying if he said they never had their differences.

Oikawa had managed to get under his skin in a matter of minutes and Hajime felt stupid – he suspected he knew what Oikawa did and he let himself fall right into his trap.

If Oikawa was somehow part of the oddness at the shrine, then he had played Hajime. He had distracted him with ease by throwing taunts and acting innocent. He remembered the guarded, fake smiles Oikawa gave him and the ethereal presence surrounding him when Hajime first saw him. Oikawa knew what he was doing and played dumb to throw him off. But that left the question: if something was going on, then why would Oikawa bait him to return?

On the off-chance that Oikawa wasn’t aware of what was going on, or the even worse possibility that Hajime was wrong about the whole thing, he yelled at a clueless but annoying stranger for the afternoon.

He debated Oikawa’s motives and his own sanity until his thoughts were drawing circles around themselves in his head, but he realized that it ultimately didn’t matter – he was going back tomorrow.

“Hajime! Dinner!” His mother’s voice calling him snapped Hajime awake and, with a call of, “Coming,” he headed downstairs.

His parents were worried when Hajime first returned home from the shrine, asking him if something happened while he was there, but he said that he was simply tired. He didn’t know how to bring the topic up, or if he even should, but his family had known the people caring for the shrine for generations. He hoped that maybe they could reassure him that he wasn’t going crazy.

He started, “Mom.”

She smiled and replied, “Yes, honey?”

“How much do you know about the family that takes care of the shrine?”

Puzzled, she looked thoughtfully at him. “We’ve visited them since before you were born, you know that.”

“Yeah, but _how_ well do you know them?”

His father interrupted, clearly confused as well. “What’s this about, son?”

Hajime sighed, trying to figure out how to ask without sounding suspicious. “Nothing, I just- I met a relative of theirs and was curious.”

Concern shadowed his mother’s face. She asked, “Is that why you’ve been in a mood?”

“No, I’m fine. I promise. I’ve just never met him before.”

His father reasoned, “He may be visiting.”

“Yeah, he said that.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

Hajime gave up and said, “Nothing. Sorry, long day I guess.” His parents clearly didn’t think anything was wrong with the shrine, but he wasn’t able to shake off his doubts.

He was trapped. Instinct was telling him that, no matter how crazy he felt, he knew something wasn’t right. He hated giving Oikawa the satisfaction of knowing he affected him, but he hated the restless curiosity gnawing at his stomach even more.

Hajime went to bed that night determined to get to the bottom of this, with or without Oikawa’s help.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Hajime approached the shrine gates with an anxiousness dancing under his skin. He had spent the entire night wrestling with his thoughts and, at this point, wasn’t sure if he wanted to be proven right or proven wrong.

The snow had stopped the night before, but the weather didn’t seem to have much effect on the actual area once he stepped inside – flakes lightly fluttered down into Hajime’s eyes as he peered up to study the sky and barren trees framing the temple. It felt like an invisible barrier had shaped itself around Hajime, welcoming him back. The same shiver of wrongness he felt yesterday had returned, startling him even though he had been expecting it.

Pulling his hood up, he wandered the courtyard with trepidation. He wasn’t quite sure what he was hoping to find, but he figured that he had to start somewhere.

The small set of stairs leading to the shrine were battered, cracked stone crunching beneath his feet as he walked towards the main building. Echoes of his steps shattered the ringing silence, slightly putting him on edge. Like yesterday, the whole place was empty except for him. As he approached the structure, he glanced at the protective statues guarding the sides, fierce animalistic faces warding off evil spirits.

Hajime smiled as the smell of stale incense and lacquered wood permeated the air. He thought the building hadn’t changed much when he stepped through the doors. Walls were painted a vibrant red and green with brown lanterns lining the ceiling, unlit and slightly dusty. His grandmother’s dark grey hair would seem like it had gone back to black when he stared up at her, the colored wood behind her creating a striking contrast.

He walked up to the row of banisters in front of the main alter. Laying his hand there, he felt like it was just yesterday that his grandmother stood beside him.

 From before he could even remember, they marched up the stairs every year for the New Year. He would ramble about his day and his friends as she patiently listened to his every story. He had always saved the funniest parts for last, trying to make her laugh. Although she was strict, he was never afraid to tell her anything. Rather, he respected her quiet fierceness when she reprimanded him for doing something she disapproved of. If she thought he was out of line, then he probably was. The occasional visits would feel like they ended too soon, so he had relished the holidays when they could spend nearly an entire week together.

Standing in the shrine was a bittersweet feeling – he got to relive moments with her only to leave them behind later.

“I knew you’d come back, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime spun around, hand snapping back from the banister. He blinked surreptitiously in case his emotions were still evident in his eyes. “Don’t sound so pleased with yourself. I’m only here since I can’t come on New Year’s.” He still wasn’t sure what Oikawa’s presence meant and he figured it would be better safe than sorry to let him know he was still suspicious of the place.

“And what about your visit yesterday?”

Hajime paused for a second before answering, “Didn’t get to come last year so I wanted to make up for it.”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow, subtle grin barely hiding the weight in his stare. “You know what I think?”

Hajime forced his face into a bored expression, waiting for Oikawa to continue.

“You wanted to see me again.”

Rolling his eyes, Hajime scoffed and unwound his muscles. “And why the hell would I wanna do that?”

“Because of my sparkling personality, of course.” Oikawa turned and walked out of the temple without even a glance backwards, the self-assured stride almost demanding he be followed. Grumbling, Hajime took the hint and walked out after him.

Hajime caught up with Oikawa and asked, “And where were you this whole time?”

“Eh? Cleaning and sweeping. Why, were you looking for me?”

“Just want to know where to avoid.”

So rude, Iwa-chan.”

They walked in comfortable silence, Hajime deciding to ignore Oikawa’s comment. He watched Oikawa, trying to make sense of the otherworldly aura surrounding him. Traditional robes, identical to his obnoxious set from yesterday, flowed along the ground as his shoes peeked out the front with every step he took. Regardless of the air around him, however, he cheerfully hummed like there was nothing out of place; he was the perfect image of a relaxed tour guide with a carefree smile lifting his cheeks. Hajime wasn’t sure how to decipher his easygoing attitude and it unnerved him.

Oikawa suddenly stared right back at Hajime and Hajime turned red, embarrassed from being caught.

Hoping to skip past the awkwardness, he asked Oikawa, “What do you do around here?”

“Hm? Oh, help clean up and sell charms when the crowds come.”

“What crowd? No one is around.”

“You said you’ve been here before, Iwa-chan, you should know people don’t come until the actual holiday. In fact, it’s kind of common sense.”

Hajime scowled as Oikawa snickered at him and said, “You really are an asshole, you know that?”

“Yes yes, you seem eager to convince yourself of that.” Oikawa had led them to a shed behind the shrine and sets of tools were revealed when he opened the door. After grabbing a rag and spray bottle, he closed the door and headed back to the temple.

Hajime stopped and studied at the grove of trees behind them. He hadn’t been to this part yet and he wondered if whatever kind of magic or forces that affected the trees in the shrine had spread even further. Unsurprisingly, it seemed to be under the same spell that kept the branches dry and snow off the ground. He stood completely still and strained his ears, listening intently for any sign of animals, but even they were kept away apparently.

Debating whether or not to venture further into the woods, Hajime wondered if there was even an end he could reach where he would return to sounds of normality.

Light scuffing noises startled Hajime and he realized that Oikawa had been gone for some time. He followed it back into the temple and saw Oikawa polishing the place where he was standing a few minutes ago.

Without glancing away from the wood, he said, “I was beginning to wonder if you got lost or something, Iwa-chan.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Unlike you, I actually pay attention to my surroundings.”

Confusion flitted across Oikawa’s eyes as he stopped working to fully consider Hajime. He asked, “What do you mean by that?”

Hajime snapped his mouth closed, realizing he probably said too much. Backtracking, he quickly said, “I mean, look at you. It’s winter and you’re barely wearing anything.”

Oikawa ran his fingers over his tattered coat before shrugging. “I don’t get cold easily.”

“Doesn’t matter when you get frostbite, idiot.”

A sly grin slid across Oikawa’s face, voice practically singing as he said, “Concerned for me, Iwa-chan? I knew you cared.”

“If concern over someone losing a limb is rare for you then that speaks more of your character than it does mine.”

“Ah, denial is the first step you must overcome to face your true feelings. Don’t fret, I will wait.”

Hajime pictured himself beating Oikawa’s arrogant face into nothingness, hoping it would be enough to stop him from inflicting actual pain.

Grabbing a cloth from Oikawa’s hand, Hajime started helping him clean the railings behind the hanging prayer bells. He knew he couldn’t investigate the area without Oikawa growing suspicious, and it was worth trying to see what Oikawa knew.

Hajime asked, with forced casualness, “You’re here visiting, right?” Oikawa hummed, which Hajime took as a sign to continue. “You nearby, then?”

“Well, kind of. I used to live here with my uncle and aunt until we moved when I was a kid.”

“Did you visit a lot?”

“Over the summer a bit, and sometimes for holidays. But it’s been a while since I stayed here for Christmas.”

“That sucks, Oba-san and Oji-san are good people.”

“Mm, they’re great. I started doing more once they got older.”

“Where are they now?”

Nervousness filled Hajime as the white noise of scrubbing and spraying abruptly stopped. Oikawa peered up at him, eyes skeptical. He asked, “Why so many questions?”

Stuttering, Hajime said, “I-I told you that I’ve known them for years. Why can’t I ask how they are?”

“And me?”

“You’re the one insisting we’re friends. If I’m here, I might as well talk to you.”

Oikawa studied Hajime, searching, but he didn’t seem to find anything as he went back to work. Hajime took a small breath and stopped his poorly-handled interrogation for the moment.

Hajime had very nearly lost himself in the mindless motions of their chore when Oikawa asked, “What was it like?”

“What?”

Oikawa cleared his throat and clarified, “The shrine, with your family.”

“Like usual: prayers, fortune for the year, writing wishes.”

Oikawa didn’t say anything after that. Hajime watched him polish the wood with a faraway expression. He didn’t know why Oikawa’s expression was so wistful, like he was yearning for something.

He asked Oikawa, “What’s up?”

Oikawa’s face cleared and he smiled. “Nothing, nothing. I’m excited for people to come, that’s all.” Hajime stared, probing for any hint of Oikawa’s sadness before he locked it away.

“You _have_ been here before, right?”

“Of course, Iwa-chan. Don’t be silly.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“I was only allowed to help out, and my parents weren’t around very much. They got my tutors to take me once, though,” Oikawa said in a blasé tone. He sounded like it was a fact of life rather than something almost unimaginable for Hajime. Not a day had gone by where he didn’t miss his grandmother immensely, especially during this time of year. Though, he supposed, it’s hard to miss something that you never had in the first place.

Hajime suddenly didn’t know what to say.

Oikawa broke the tension as he asked innocently, “What was it like when you were a kid?”

Lights and sounds from Hajime’s childhood washed over him and he smiled. Hundreds of people huddled together, some tired from the year and some already hopeful for what was to come. Hollow clangs of bells would ring through the air as families clapped and prayed in the silence following it.

His favorite time, though, was the shrine at night. Nighttime visits were particularly special to Hajime since he had to wait until he was old enough. He would stare at the brightly-lit lanterns until his eyes began to tear and spots clouded his vision. His grandmother scolded him every time, but she would tenderly rub his temples to clear away the headache.

“That sounds so pretty, Iwa-chan.” Hajime watched Oikawa see the temple with a new, dreamy look in his eyes. He realized that he had basically spewed all his thoughts out loud and felt his entire face immediately heat up in embarrassment.

Hajime muttered, “Yeah well, I think that’s pretty normal for everyone.”

Oikawa shook his head, longing still taking a firm hold of him. “It’s all yours, though. That’s your own kind of ‘normal’ you get to keep for yourself.”

Surprised, Hajime’s brows rose all the way to his hairline. He wasn’t unaware that families could be complicated, but Oikawa’s wish for a memory of his own concerned Hajime more than he wanted to admit. In spite of the pain, he stood in the temple surrounded by memories of his grandmother and he could think of her happily. Oikawa, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have even that much.

Oikawa’s attention snapped back into focus and any trace of sadness was smoothly erased. He intently focused on a row of wooden planks and began to buff them in exaggerated circles. The practiced aloofness he wore kind of worried Hajime as he wondered about the type of “normal” Oikawa had.

Hajime snuck glances at Oikawa as they went back to work, hoping to catch a glimpse of him while he was unaware. He thought he was doing okay until Oikawa let out an overdramatic sigh.

“You know, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa began in a lilting tune, “I can understand why you would be distracted, but I’m growing a little concerned.”

Hajime, annoyed at himself for not being careful enough, asked, “Why would I be distracted?”

Oikawa smiled and said, “My beauty can be a bit much to take in all at once, especially for those who aren’t used to handling it with grace every day. But I’m a generous person, I can try my best to help you if you’d like some tips.”

 “I’m not sure what’s worse – your sucky personality or your grating voice.” Hajime scowled. He knew he was being baited, and was weirdly okay with it considering the heavy atmosphere from minutes ago, but tamping down his irritation was too hard a task.

Oikawa tsked with pity. “Jealousy is so unflattering, Iwa-chan. What’ll you do if your face freezes like that?”

“Stop being stupid, Shitty-kawa.”

Oikawa gasped in horror, so offended Hajime coughed out a laugh before reminding himself he was annoyed. Oikawa cried, “That’s so vulgar, Iwa-chan! Where did that come from?”

“You were being a shit, so that’s what I called you. And you gave me a dumb nickname first.”

“It’s a cute name, like me. Yours is just rude.”

Hajime stared off in thought, silently cheering that he was able to rile up Oikawa in return. He said after a pause, “Then, you can choose which you prefer: Shitty-kawa or Trashy-kawa.”

“Why are those my only options?!”

“Because they’re all you’re getting. I think they suit you fine.”

“Well, then I guess I choose ‘Trashy-kawa!’”

Hajime smirked as he watched Oikawa’s nose scrunch up in anger. Feeling satisfied, he went back to washing the banister and said, “You missed a spot by your arm.” This time, he wasn’t able to hold in his laugh when Oikawa screeched in defeat.

 

* * *

 

Metal crashing against stone jolted Hajime as he walked past the shrine gate. A clanging noise ricocheted around him, so loud it was like a shot had been fired. He didn’t know nor care if he felt a magical barrier as he ran to find out what had happened.

After searching the main courtyard, he ran around the back and found Oikawa sitting on the ground with a pained grimace on his face. An old, rusted ladder tottered by his legs and Hajime realized the sound was Oikawa probably falling off.

Hajime came to him and called out, “What happened?!”

Oikawa rubbed his head and smiled embarrassedly, “Ah, Iwa-chan. What’re you doing back here?”

“What were you doing?” Hajime studied Oikawa and was relieved to find he wasn’t injured. Maybe a bump on the head, but he seemed to be fine.

“I was dusting off the roof. Snow was getting in the tiles and it’s not good for the wood. I slipped is all.”

Hajime raised his head towards the sky and was shocked to find flakes lightly drifting on the building. Nothing had changed in the last three days since he’d been visiting until now, at least that he knew of.

“Why the hell are you on a ladder out here alone? You could’ve broken your neck, idiot.”

Oikawa stood up and dusted himself off before smiling at Hajime. “Don’t worry, Iwa-chan. I’ve done it plenty of times.”

Hajime growled, “Then you’re even stupider than I thought.”

“Careful, Iwa-chan, wouldn’t want me to think you actually care.”

“Again, concern for another human being shouldn’t be a new thing for you.”

Oikawa giggled, unconcerned with Hajime’s comment, but Hajime looked away in guilt when he remembered their conversation from yesterday. From what he heard, Oikawa wasn’t close to his family. At least, he didn’t have many childhood memories of spending time with them. Not to mention his only interaction with others were tutors hired to be there. Hajime joked about Oikawa thinking basic human decency was something rare for him, but maybe it wasn’t something he had encountered in a while.

Hajime grabbed the ladder and wordlessly began to scale up the temple walls.

Oikawa started to reach for it himself but was slapped away. “Iwa-chan?”

Ears red, which Hajime strictly believed was from the cold, he grunted, “Hold it before I fall off like you, Trashy-kawa.”

Oikawa sputtered, “Iwa-chan, I’m fine. You don’t have- “

“Shut up and get over here, “Hajime interrupted.

Thankful he was wearing gloves today, Hajime brushed the snow off with his hands until he told Oikawa to give him the broom-like tool used to reach the rest of the roof. He worked in silence, shocked that Oikawa hadn’t made a comment yet about the snow probably landing on him at the bottom or how he could be doing a much better job.

Hajime thought he heard a whispered, “thank you,” but he was too unsure to ask. He supposed that Oikawa might have at least some understanding of gratitude when he took things seriously.

Cool air hit Hajime’s cheeks and while standing near the top, he realized he had a whole new vantage point of the shrine. Peering across the landscape, he found that the ground had a touch of snow on it. It was still bare, like the first day he arrived, but there were smear marks that lined the few flakes that had landed. It seemed like Oikawa had swept the whole area.

A closer inspection of the roof tiles showed that they, too, had lines left from sweeping the snow away.

Suddenly, every single odd thing he thought about this place could be explained: the almost oppressive silence was because there weren’t any trains for the day, the animals were simply somewhere else or hibernating, the gate could’ve been a strange bout of static, the lack of snow was because Oikawa, and now he, cleaned.

Hajime felt his neck burn and wanted to yell from how ridiculous he felt. He let his imagination run away with him, so sure that something was going on and he was the one who had to figure it out. Even if it was just his musings and he didn’t outright say anything, he still accused Oikawa and his family of hiding some big secret.

Snow fell and Hajime brushed every dust of powder away with a renewed intensity, like he was pushing the shame he felt as far away from him as possible.

“Um… Iwa-chan?”

Oikawa’s hesitant voice floated up and Hajime took a calming breath, schooling his features before glancing down at him.

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s all gone now.”

Hajime blinked and saw that the roof practically shined from how hard he was cleaning. He cleared his throat and started his descent back to the ground.

Averting his eyes, Hajime folded the ladder up and walked to the shed where he knew they kept their tools. Oikawa followed behind him wordlessly with a confused wrinkle in his brow as he stared after him. Thankfully, he seemed to sense that Hajime needed a minute to himself.

When he felt ready to face Oikawa again, he asked, “What else?”

Oikawa’s eyes widened. “You’re staying?”

Hajime shrugged and surveyed the area. “Told you, I’m here to make up for lost time and I can’t come on New Year’s. Plus, you clearly need my help.”

“Excuse me, but I have been doing fine.”

“The roof had loose tiles and there are broken steps at the front.”

“I was just cleaning the roof before you came here,” Oikawa squawked, defensively crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, before you fell off.” Hajime felt his lips twitch, smile trying to break through as he watched Oikawa’s cheeks redden slightly. He was surprisingly stubborn, and Hajime hated to admit he thought it was kind of cute.

Relief sunk into his bones as they slipped into more comfortable territory. Hajime was worried he wouldn’t know what to say after figuring out that he was completely wrong about Oikawa and the shrine, so he was grateful for the halfhearted insults that set him at ease.

Hajime watched Oikawa pout and stuffed his hands in his pockets, waiting for him give in. His damp gloves hung limply at his sides despite the freezing temperature. He figured that they weren’t worth wearing if they would only make him colder.

A shiver wracked through Hajime and he pressed his face into the scarf wrapped around his neck. He looked over to see if Oikawa had calmed down a bit when he noticed wet spots blooming across his robes. The red coat was missing, leaving the thin white sleeves to cover his arms. His didn’t seem to be too wet, but his shoes appeared to be almost completely soaked.

Angry, Hajime started shedding his scarf and hat.

The movement shook Oikawa’s petulant scowl off and he asked, “Iwa-chan, what’re you doing?”

“Your idiocy is pissing me off.”

“Huh?”

“It’s fucking cold out here and you’re barely wearing anything.”

Hajime went to shove his hat on Oikawa’s head but his arms were pushed off with shocking strength. “Iwa-chan, my hair!”

Holding Oikawa’s arms away from his head, Hajime shouted, “Stop squirming and just take it before I pin you down!”

Oikawa let out a scandalized gasp. “How forward.”

Hajime ignored his blazing cheeks and the innuendo to hit Oikawa’s arm. “Move, Shitty-kawa!”

“Hey, I thought you weren’t going to call me that!”

“I’ll call you shitty when you’re being shitty!”

Hajime and Oikawa were out of breath by the time Oikawa was finally wearing the hat and scarf. It had taken at least five minutes to get Oikawa to accept the hat and another ten to get him to take the scarf. He reluctantly accepted it after seeing Hajime’s murderous expression, leaning down with great annoyance.

Sweat was cooling Hajime’s body once he stopped wrestling Oikawa into warmer clothes but he was grateful for it after the struggle. He had thought about going so far as to hand over his jacket too, but he knew he’d need it later. Plus, he doubted Oikawa would accept it no matter how ferocious Hajime could look if his currently obvious displeasure was something to go by.

Oikawa was back to sulking, cheeks puffed out and scowling at Hajime. A hat and scarf weren’t going to help warm his exposed arms and feet, but it was better than nothing. Chestnut hair fluffed around the brim, somehow spiky and soft at the same time. The dark green beanie brought out the brown in his eyes and gave them a hazel tint that made Hajime’s breath stutter.

“I told you I was fine.” Oikawa’s voice was muffled because of the scarf and he pulled it down, affronted. Hajime, in the heat of the moment, had wrapped it around his neck three times and knotted it in the front so Oikawa couldn’t remove it easily.

“Just accept the help, stupid.”

“I wasn’t cold.”

“I don’t care.”

With a huff, Oikawa adjusted his new outerwear to sit more comfortably on him. Despite their fight ending, his cheeks remained flushed. “Now you’re cold, too. That doesn’t help anyone.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I’m wearing an actual coat, dumbass.”

Oikawa scoffed but didn’t say anything in response. He watched his feet as they scuffed across the dirt, something Hajime thought seemed oddly shy for him. After a minute, he said, “I don’t want you to be cold, either.”

Generally, this comment wouldn’t mean very much to Hajime. The way Oikawa said it, though, carried a weight that dropped into his stomach and released a warmth into his chest. He felt his neck heat up and now Oikawa wasn’t the only one turning red.

Hajime coughed and awkwardly patted Oikawa’s shoulder in acknowledgement. Slightly smiling, he asked, “What’s next?”

 

* * *

  

Now that Hajime wasn’t fixating on all the strange things that could’ve been going on at the shrine, he was able to sit back and simply remember being here. Every place he went, he saw himself as a child holding his grandmother’s hand. She would smile and tease him for his eagerness, and then thank him for staying right beside her when he knew she was too old to chase after him. Even as years went by, his only companion was her on New Year’s. Sometimes there were visits with his teammates or parents before to beat the crowds, but the actual day was just for them.

Hajime strolled along the courtyard and stopped, smiling when he saw the large tree encompassed by a wooden prayer board holding thousands of wishes.

Wind passed by and shuffled the plaques, creating a hollow tune before getting carried away. When he was younger, he believed the tree had a life force of its own that was waiting to grant everyone’s desires. The first time he wrote a prayer card was during the week his mother had been sick with a cold. He asked the tree to heal her and, when she got better the next day, he told his family that he had powers.

Looking back on it, Hajime laughed at himself and ran his fingers over his eyes in mortification. No matter how rational he had become over the years, he supposed he still couldn’t help but believe there was magic somewhere.

“This is my one my favorite places.”

Hajime turned and saw Oikawa approaching him from behind. He stared intently at every word in front of him, like he was trying to memorize them.  

“Have you ever written one?” Hajime asked as he shifted over slightly to stand beside him.

“Once, I think. I was really young.” For the first time, Hajime thought he saw a hint of loneliness in Oikawa. His back was relaxed into a casual slouch with his head tilted slightly to the side, but there was a sadness deep in his eyes that made Hajime want to cry.

“You should do one now.”

Oikawa stood there silently, still reading the prayer cards, before turning to Hajime and smiling. He laughed, “Wish for what? It’s impossible to improve perfection.”

What little bit of honest yearning Hajime had seen was locked away, again. He scoffed and said, “Just do it, everyone does.”

“Iwa-chan, I’m not everyone. I am unique.”

“That’s one word for it.”

 “What do you wish for?”

Hajime opened his mouth, preparing for his automatic answer, but he froze when he remembered he couldn’t write the same prayer anymore. Graduation felt like it was closing in, dragging him through a pit of anxiety while shoving him out into the world at the same time. He knew Hanamaki and Matsukawa shared his same fears, but they were pushing that conversation away for as long as possible.

“Health, good grades, usual stuff,” Hajime replied, hoping to avoid talking about his uncertain future.

Oikawa snorted. “How basic, Iwa-chan. You must’ve had such a boring life before meeting me.”

“My life has turned into one big headache thanks to you, Trashy-kawa.” Hajime rolled his eyes and punched Oikawa on the arm.

Whining, Oikawa rubbed the spot where a bruise was probably beginning to form and glared. “Always so violent with me, Iwa-chan.” He sighed and turned his head to study the prayer plaques, again.

“You ever heard of volleyball?” It was the barely hidden disappointment that compelled Hajime to talk before he even realized it came out. He knew it wasn’t directed at him, at least not because he hit Oikawa. His face had fallen and Hajime wondered if he truly didn’t know what to pray for, either.

Oikawa glanced back at him. “Yeah, I’ve seen a few games before.”

“I’ve been playing for years and I usually wrote something for my team.”

“Eh? What position? What’s your team like?” Excitement sparked in Oikawa as he lit up.

Rubbing his neck shyly, Hajime said, “I’m the ace, actually.”

Oikawa smiled broadly and looked at Hajime’s arms. “I knew your gorilla body came from somewhere.”

Grabbing Oikawa’s already-bruised arm, Hajime scowled, “Show me your other arm and I can give you a matching set.” He felt a blush creep its way onto his cheeks and he refused to acknowledge it pleased him that Oikawa noticed his muscles.

Ignoring the threat, Oikawa asked, “Are you guys any good?”

“Yeah, I think so. We do pretty well in tournaments, at least.”

“I’d wanna see that.”

Hajime smiled when he thought about Oikawa watching him in the stands, but his heart dropped before the image fully formed in his mind. He berated himself for getting swept up in this conversation when he knew it would lead him back to the feeling of being swallowed whole.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa’s enthusiasm dimmed into a look of concern as he saw Hajime slowly fall apart.

“Nothing, forget it.” He tried to brush it off, but the sound of his own voice breaking shattered his resolve.

Oikawa gently touched the hand still gripping his arm and that was it.

“It’s all ending,” Hajime whispered. Tears burned in his eyes, stress and fear steadily building up, but he refused to let them fall. “I’ve worked towards this for so long. Hanamaki and Matsukawa and everyone tried so hard but- “

“Iwa-cha- “

“I prayed for us, to get stronger and better and we were supposed to do it together. And now we’re graduating and… What now?”

The entire shrine was quiet except for Hajime’s shallow breaths. His throat constricted, dry and parched from dragging in air through his mouth because his nose was stuffed up. Despite clenching his eyes shut and turning away, he felt Oikawa’s stare searing into him. The shame of unleashing all of this baggage on Oikawa made him want to hide until he wasn’t as raw and exposed.

After minutes of waiting for him to calm down, Oikawa said softly, “You know, Iwa-chan, I think it’s amazing to love something so much you cry at the thought of losing it.”

Hajime blinked, unsure how to respond.

With more care than Hajime thought he had ever seen from him, Oikawa continued. “You can push yourself past the breaking point and still get up to do it all over again. That’s amazing.”

Unclogging his throat from the tears, Hajime started, “Look, sorry I- “

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Hajime, jarred from the interruption, nodded slowly.

“Your friends…”

“Matsukawa and Hanamaki.”

“Yeah. Why don’t you have trust in them?”

Hajime drew back like he was slapped across the face. The very idea was outside the realm of possibility for him. Furious, he said, “Where the fuck do you- “

Strangely calm, Oikawa said, “You love volleyball, right?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then I don’t see the problem,” Oikawa stated simply.

Stunned silent, Hajime floundered between enraged and confused.

“You can still pray for the same thing. You want to move forward together, so do that.”

“I…” Thoughts raced around in Hajime’s head, so fast he was having trouble keeping up.

“Believe you’re all strong enough even when you’re apart. Besides, it won’t be for long if you’re working towards the same goal, right? Then, when you’re on opposite sides of the court, you can face each other without regrets.”

He made everything sound like it was the easiest thing in the world. The way Oikawa said it so effortlessly almost knocked Hajime over. He had carried so much worry and dread that the slightest shift in weight was like gravity had been taken away. Some piece of him clung to the idea that it wasn’t that simple, it couldn’t be, but nonetheless he felt the heaviness lift. Not all of it was gone, but there was a comfortable pressure that drove him on, giving him something to look forward to, again.

So quietly that Hajime nearly missed it, Oikawa whispered, “It sounds great. To have had that time with them.”

Hajime faced him directly and waited, hoping for him to continue.

Oikawa smiled at him, haughty and grateful at the same time. “I’m sure you’ve figured out by now I don’t have too many friends. It’s just the way it is. But you should know how lucky you are.”

He did, more than ever. Hajime nodded and stared at Oikawa in earnest, wanting to convey how thankful he was for the advice and that he understood the seriousness of his words. His fingers tingled and he stuffed them in his jacket in case he did something dumb, like reach out and take Oikawa’s hand in his.

“You can come and meet them, if you want,” Hajime offered.

“I’d like that.” Oikawa grinned and gazed up at the tree. Regardless of his words, the wistful expression returned and it confused Hajime.

Before he could say anything, Oikawa asked, “You still planning to help me today?”

Hajime shrugged and said, “Got nothing better to do. And I still think you don’t know how to properly clean.”

Oikawa sniffed. “I am perfectly capable. Unlike you, I have to be careful of my delicate hands. You don’t have to worry about stuff like that with your brutish monkey strength.”

Sighing, Hajime punched Oikawa in the uninjured arm. He smirked as Oikawa cried out and he said, “Told you what would happen the next time you insult me.”

“How cruel, Iwa-chan!”

“Meet me by the shed when you’re done whining.” Hajime turned and headed to the area behind the shrine, not surprised he knew his way around by now. He snorted as he heard Oikawa grumble and walk behind him.

As he turned the corner, he heard a train whistle in the distance.

 

* * *

 

Ice and sleet pelted the windows and Hajime thought it sounded like the end of the world was coming. The blizzard suddenly came the night before and had continued non-stop until the road was covered in a sheet of white.

Disappointed, Hajime sat in his room and listened to the wind shrieking through the night. He and the team had planned an end-of-year party for that afternoon but it was called off as soon as they saw there was no way of leaving their homes.

It was going to be the last time they were getting together before the New Year and he wanted to wish his underclassmen well. The third years weren’t sure if they wanted to continue playing in the spring, even though many claimed they were still needed, and he wanted to discuss it with Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Hajime smiled when he felt calm at the idea of seeing his best friends and talking about their future. He knew a part of it, an immense part, had to do with Oikawa. He hadn’t expected him to unwrap the massive tangle of stress and fear, especially considering their first impressions of each other.

Thinking back to their conversation, he realized that Oikawa still hadn’t written a prayer down. He hoped that they could fix that the next time they saw each other. Even though Hajime hadn’t known him for very long, he missed him.

Curious to see if the weather had lightened at all, he turned on the tv to watch the news. Images of barely-visible reporters filled the screen as they yelled into their microphones. Hajime grimaced, feeling pity for everyone who had to go out in this mess.

A headline appeared as he was scrolling past the channels and he stopped. The news anchor stated, _“-has suddenly fallen due to poor conditions of the building and the mass amounts of heavy snow and ice. So far, there have been no reports of civilians trapped inside the shrine. Emergency responders are unable to travel on the roads until visibility improves.”_

Terror shot down Hajime’s spine as his body broke out into a cold sweat. His nerves shut down, refusing to respond no matter how much he screamed at his legs to get up and just _move._ Images of Oikawa broken and bleeding, trapped under the rubble, raced in his head.

He had no idea if it was Oikawa’s, but he knew he had to find out.

Hajime distantly thought he was running on autopilot somehow because he managed to stand up and grab his coat without registering his actions. He reached for his hat and scarf before remembering that they were still with Oikawa. Guilt filled him as he sprinted out the door, wishing he wasn’t so selfish as to keep the jacket for himself that day.

The door slammed shut as he made his way into the frozen night and he hoped his parents were fast asleep. He figured he was going to be grounded if they found out, but that seemed so insignificant as he ran in the direction of the temple.

Wind and shards of ice cut Hajime’s face as he ran against the storm. As he expected, the entire town was deserted except for barely-lit lamp posts lining the sidewalk. He followed the path he’d known since he was a kid, lungs burning with every gasping breath. His legs cramped as they pumped him just a step further, praying he could outrun the black ice that threatened to ground him.

Awareness faded away as Hajime’s mind repeated over and over again. _Don’t let me be too late._

When familiar stone steps finally crossed into his line of vision, he started yelling as loudly as he could. “Oikawa! Are you here?” After he didn’t get a response, he swore and sprinted up the stairs two at a time. He pleaded with anyone who was listening that it was because Oikawa wasn’t here and not that he was unconscious somewhere.

“Oikawa! Answer me!” Hajime called in a panic, unsure if a reply would be better than not hearing one.

He had almost reached the top when a sudden gust of wind knocked him over to the side. He quickly put his hand down to catch himself, but his ankle rolled over and he lost his balance. Snow shot into his face as he scrambled for purchase, blindly grabbing for anything to stop him from tumbling down the stairs.

Sharp pain exploded across his temple when something hit the back of his skull. The last thing he remembered was calling for Oikawa as he slipped into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Hajime felt was warmth flooding his limbs, spreading from the crown of his head to the tips of his probably frostbitten toes. A burning sensation seared into the gash at the back of his neck before receding into a more comfortable heat. Gentle light shone across his eyelids and Hajime thought it wouldn’t be so bad if this was how he died.

Drops of water fell onto his cheeks and he realized that was wrong, that no one should be crying in heaven.

Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Oikawa hover over him with the ugliest crying face he had ever seen. Oikawa was frantic, muttering nonsense under his breath as he situated blankets on top of Hajime to keep him warm. Clarity eventually leaked into his brain and he stared at Oikawa in amazement. He said, “You’re alive.”

Oikawa choked out a watery laugh. “Of course I am, idiot. And now I’m going to kill you.”

Hajime noted his surroundings and saw he was laying down inside the main temple. Sunlight poured in from the entryway and he realized it was already day time. He wondered how long he had been out there, and how scared his parents were right then.

He sat up wincing, both in pain and out of guilt. Dread and fear had put him into a frenzy last night, but it didn’t excuse his running out without any warning during a blizzard.

Hajime looked around and was glad to see that the shrine was still intact, save for a few broken windows. It appeared slightly darker with wood splintering along the banisters. He studied them in confusion, swearing they buffed it no more than a few days ago.

Soft hands abruptly framed his face and Oikawa yelled, “What do you think you were doing?!”

Hajime, too tired to pull away, rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, dumbass.”

“Why did you come here in the middle of a fucking storm? You could’ve been killed!”

Raising his brows, Hajime chastised him. “And you yell at _me_ for swearing.”

“Iwa-chan!”

“Okay, okay.” Hajime sighed and pulled Oikawa’s hands away. He didn’t let go, though, only resting his fingers against Oikawa’s wrists as they laid in between them. “I heard a shrine got destroyed from the storm and I thought it was this one. So…”

Oikawa’s face turned red, angry tears running down his cheeks. “So, you decided to run out in the middle of a blizzard to check just in case?”

“I admit I didn’t think it through- “

“You’re an idiot!” Oikawa screamed before launching himself at Hajime. For a second, he thought he was about to be punched. Instead, he felt arms wrap around him so tightly he almost fell over. He stared at the shaking frame in shock before slowly encircling Oikawa with his own. He didn’t say anything, merely sitting in silence as he waited for Oikawa to calm down. He wasn’t sure if this was an overreaction, but then he remembered his gut instinct at the thought of Oikawa in trouble and shuddered.

Oikawa pulled away after a long time and glared. Begrudgingly, like he didn’t want to show concern even after all that, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

Mentally, Hajime checked his body for any cuts or pains. He was shocked to find that he was completely fine. Shrugging, he said, “All good.”

With a huff, Oikawa stood and stuck his hand out. “You should go home. I’m sure you’re family’s worried.”

Hajime swore and reached up, letting himself be pulled to a standing position. “Yeah, they’re gonna kill me.”

“I wonder why.”

They headed out of the building and he cuffed Oikawa on the back of the head. Watching him rub his hair and complain, Hajime suddenly remembered his injury.

Sifting his fingers through his hair, he said aloud, “I fell.” Oikawa froze, but Hajime hardly noticed. “I was running up the stairs and I tripped and I cracked my head open.”

Oikawa turned around, concerned. He asked, “I didn’t see anything, are you sure? Did I miss something?”

“No, it was there. I felt it before I passed out.”

“There wasn’t, Iwa-chan. I checked.”

“I know what happened, Oikawa.” Certainty steeled him as he stared into Oikawa’s eyes. He had doubted himself when it came to the shrine, but he knew what he felt.

Silence sat heavily between them, neither moving an inch. Hajime studied Oikawa intently, searching for the signs he saw that told him Oikawa was hiding something. They had melted away with each meeting, but now they were firmly in place, masquerading as confusion and concern. He recognized it from the very first day they met and he suspected he shouldn’t have doubted himself after all.

Resolute, Hajime asked, “What did you do?”

“Nothing. I found you on the stairs and I brought you inside.” Oikawa cocked his head to the side, eyebrow raised.

“You did something, that’s why I don’t have a cut anymore.”

“I don’t remember seeing anything like that.”

Frustration leaked into Hajime’s voice as he started shouting, “Don’t act like I’m an idiot!”

“I’m not!” Anger crumpled Oikawa’s features, nearly hiding the desperation in his eyes.

“Oikawa!” Hajime’s scream cut off any further argument about to burst from Oikawa’s mouth. “What are you?”

Oikawa gazed to the side, staring at nothing. Time felt like it stood still as Hajime waited for an answer. He wasn’t going to move from that spot until he got one.

A deep sigh deflated Oikawa, sounding heavy enough to bring down the entire world. He looked at Hajime and the raw pain and loneliness could’ve brought Hajime to his knees. The strength it probably took to hide it every day astounded him, making him feel small.

“Hey, Iwa-chan. Have you ever heard of Mt. Horai?”

The name sounded familiar to him and Hajime searched his memories for any mention of it. He then remembered an old folktale his grandmother told him once. “It was where people breathe in souls to gain knowledge.”

Oikawa smiled and looked into the distance, seeing a place further than Hajime could imagine. “Partly, yes. You see, people lived there for thousands of years. They helped take care of the ancient souls and, in return, their hearts never grew old.”

All the air rushed out of Hajime’s lungs and he stepped back, catching himself before he fell down. Oikawa glanced in his direction but his eyes were glazed over, like he wasn’t really seeing him.

“Age is kind of… abstract to us. We’ve been accused of manipulating the power of life for our own selfish gains, but we were just caretakers."

Hajime's head spun, working to keep up with what was happening. He was facing a myth, something out of a fairy tale that wasn’t supposed to exist. Eyes wide, he studied Oikawa like he had never seen him before.

“But… How… Here…” Hajime stuttered, unsure where to start, but Oikawa answered.

“I came here a year ago. Oba-san and Oji-san were sick so I wanted to help. After they died, they said I could stay for as long as I wanted.”

“That’s why the shrine felt weird when I first came back.”

Oikawa nodded and gazed back at the temple. “I’ve been protecting it ever since.” He giggled and shook his head self-deprecatingly. “I was not expecting you, Iwa-chan. You broke through my barrier with no problem.”

Stunned, he replied dumbly, “Huh?”

“I surrounded the shrine with my aura so it would be protected from the elements and I’d know when people are coming. I can’t tell if you’re too sharp for sensing something or too weak for me to notice you were here.”

“Come here and I’ll show you how weak I am.” Hajime replied automatically and stomped to Oikawa, but he simply dodged.

“Iwa-chan, you need to come up with better threats.”

“I’ll kick your ass, Trashy-kawa.”

“Don’t say ‘ass,’ it’s rude.”

“You said ‘fuck’ earlier.”

“I was emotional and _you_ were still an idiot!”

Hajime’s jaw dropped before he punched Oikawa’s arm. He watched Oikawa pout while rubbing his new injury and he felt himself breathe easily at the familiarity. Their friendship hadn’t changed, no matter what he found out. Despite the knowledge that he wasn’t human, Oikawa was still Oikawa.

For the first time, Hajime asked a question naturally. “Why couldn’t I feel your presence the longer I was here? Did I get used to it, or what?”

Oikawa focused on his arm and shyly glanced down. “Well, the more you visited, the more I relaxed around you so my aura kind of… welcomed you and lowered naturally.”

Embarrassed, Hajime felt his ears redden and he couldn’t look Oikawa in eye, either.

Continuing, Oikawa explained, “That’s why the shrine started getting snow and aging. I let you in, so I had to let everything else in, too.”

“And that’s why you started to feel the cold,” Hajime assumed.

“Pretty much.”

Hajime glanced around in amazement at the snow blanketing the entire shrine. He could see that it wasn’t as high as the roads below, but the courtyard was basically overflowing with white compared to how it was the first day he came here. Footsteps followed by heavy indents showed him where Oikawa must’ve dragged him earlier. Birds flying overhead flapped their wings as they sang, dancing in the blue sky.

The shrine and wishing tree were much older, sagging from the weight of nature and time. Colors were faded and cracks split the varnish of columns holding up the roof, tan spots blossoming along the surface. Hajime first felt bad for causing everything to deteriorate, but then he thought it was a good thing. It should age naturally and show the history of everyone who visited. It had weathered a storm but it was still standing, just like him.

Hajime, curious about Oikawa’s own history, asked, “What about your family and friends at home?”

“I can’t remember the last time I saw them. We leave whenever we want, so I’ve just been traveling by myself.” Oikawa turned his head towards the prayer board. “I’ve heard people talk about life for centuries, but I’ve never had the chance to live it.”

“And now?”

Oikawa lifted his head to the sky and said, “So many questions, Iwa-chan.” Hajime knew he was saying goodbye.

Glaring, he clenched his hands into fists and said more than asked, “You’re leaving.”

“I’ve been here too long.”

“And what, you were gonna go without saying anything?” Betrayal laced his words, hurt evident.

Glancing back to Hajime, Oikawa shrugged. “I don’t even know where or when.”

“What’s wrong with this place? Do you think I’ll tell people?!”

“Of course not!” Oikawa’s eyes bugged out, genuinely surprised at the idea of not trusting him.

“Then why?”

“Because my powers are gone!”

They froze, both shocked at Oikawa’s declaration. He looked away in shame as Hajime absorbed what was said.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not immortal anymore, I can’t control souls. That’s it.”

“That’s not it. Tell me what happened, idiot.”

“After you reach a certain age, your powers get weaker and weaker until you’re human.”

Suspicion filled Hajime. He didn’t know anything about Oikawa’s powers, but he recognized the practiced casual tone, like whatever happened didn’t matter even though it did.

He remembered the beginning of their conversation, how Oikawa was so hesitant to tell him about his injury. “Oikawa. What did you do to me after you found me?”

Oikawa’s eyes shifted around, probably checking for an escape. After finding none, he looked back and Hajime thought he’d never seen him so scared. “I brought you back to life.”

As if it were mocking him, Hajime’s heart stopped. He reached up and rested a palm over his chest, needing to feel that it was still beating. Foggy memories of waking up in the shrine came back to him in pieces, particularly the comfortable heat that spread out from his core.

He choked out, “I was dead?”

Guilt shone on Oikawa’s face, clearly wishing he didn’t have to tell Hajime about what happened. “When I found you, you weren’t breathing. And the cut to your head was too severe, and I couldn’t get you to a hospital in time, so…”

He waited for Hajime to process everything, which he was grateful for. After taking a breath to steady himself, he asked, “How did you do it?”

“I… We can control souls from Mt. Horai. Our powers let us do things like steal souls from someone, or give them away.”

“So… I have someone’s…” Hajime didn’t finish the question but Oikawa nodded anyway. He swallowed, nerves knotting his throat and blocking his airway. “Who?”

Oikawa whispered, “Mine.”

“Wait… What?” He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

Fumbling over his words, Oikawa quickly spit out, “Ancient souls collect at Mt. Horai and people sometimes breathe them in for knowledge. We could use one of those if we were to save someone. But here, obviously, I don’t have any. So, my only option was to give you mine.”

Hajime stared at him for a long time before headbutting him. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Blood dribbled out of Oikawa’s nose but he ignored it and stared at Hajime. “What?”

“What would make you think I’d be happy about you sacrificing yourself for me?”

“That’s why I wasn’t going to tell you!”

“That’s even worse, stupid!”

“You ran out in the middle of a blizzard on the chance that I was here! How’s that any different from what I did?”

Hajime didn’t have an answer for that. Instead, he asked, “Why did you do that?”

“Because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Obviously!”

“Why me?”

“I needed you to live!” Oikawa glared at Hajime, silencing him. “You stayed when you knew I was lonely and you had goals and friends and I wasn’t going to let you lose all of that because of me. You’re violent and you only know like two insults but you’re stubborn and kind and- “

“Shut up,” Hajime growled before slamming his mouth against Oikawa’s. He had been growing angrier as Oikawa talked. The more he devalued himself, suggesting he wasn’t as important, the more Hajime wanted to prove that he would do anything for him. Knowing what he was didn’t change how he felt; Oikawa could’ve told him the truth a long time ago and he still would’ve come running.

Despite their kiss coming from frustration and the need for Oikawa to stop talking, every movement felt hesitant. Wet lips explored each other with a sweet nervousness. Heat warmed Hajime and he felt light-headed, like hot air was filling him up and he was about to blow away. Softly, he reached up and combed his hands through Oikawa’s silky hair. He didn’t realize how badly he wanted to touch it until his fingers shook from relief at the sensation.

Holding Oikawa in his arms felt like catching water – it was slippery and it constantly flowed away when Hajime got too close, but as soon as he gave in and let it take him, he was enveloped by beauty and life.

Oikawa let out an adorably soft noise before pulling away. “That’s not- I didn’t tell you so this could happen.”

Hajime huffed, annoyed at being interrupted for a stupid reason. “I made you tell me. You were going to leave without a word, remember?”

Cheeks red, Oikawa at least had the grace to look guilty. “I… I don’t want you to feel like you owe me for saving you.”

Fondness swelled in Hajime’s heart as he rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot if you think I’d do something like that just because I’m grateful. Give me some credit.”

Hesitantly, Oikawa glanced over. Hope creeped into his eyes and Hajime about burst from happiness. The world was terrifying and uncertain and thrilling, and he wanted to show it all to Oikawa.

Excited, he leaned over and pulled Oikawa in for a kiss, again. Hajime felt more confident as they pressed their smiles together. Warmth from Oikawa’s mouth burned pleasantly against his, stoking a small flame as their tongues met briefly before withdrawing. Their noses bumped accidentally and Hajime exhaled a laugh.

He broke away and rested his head against Oikawa’s, breathing him in.

Oikawa gazed up and asked timidly, “So, what now?”

“Now I go see my parents so they don’t have a heart attack.”

Cheekily, Oikawa said, “Meeting the parents already? I think we’re moving a little fast, Iwa-chan.”

“Do you ever get tired of being a smartass?” Hajime lightheartedly shoved him and started walking to the shrine gates.

“You wouldn’t love me any other way,” Oikawa proclaimed smugly.

Sputtering, Hajime yelled as his entire face turned red, “Don’t say things like that out of the blue!”

Oikawa turned and beamed at him, but a light blush dusted his cheeks as well. “I’m just being honest. Who wouldn’t love me?”

Hajime groaned and dragged a hand over his eyes. “I take it back. You can stay here for the next thousand years, see if I care.”

“Nuh-uh, too late. You’re stuck with me now, Iwa-chan.” In spite of his words, Oikawa looked doubtful and scared, worried he had pushed too far. Hajime rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, calling him an idiot for thinking too much.

He didn’t know how they were supposed to go about their relationship or how he could help Oikawa deal with being human all of a sudden, but he was strangely unconcerned about it. He held Oikawa’s cold hand tight in his, sharing heat between them.

They walked down the stairs together. Hajime felt Oikawa’s hand tighten as he left his home of the last year and he squeezed right back. The shrine creaked and settled as they left it while the town woke up with the sounds of life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
